Be Brave

“Be Brave” This was my friend Brenda’s mantra. She died last week doing what she loved, in a place she loved, without warning. She had a massive brain anurism and at the age of 57.  Because I have a background in theatre (my first degree was in theatre and music) I have a lot of connections to the theatre community here. I used to work full time in theatre and it’s a small world (after all). I am the resident photographer for Miner’s Alley Playhouse (and a few other theatres in town). I photograph all their shows for archival and press reasons. It allows me to look at things differently, tell different stories in images, and keeps me connected to my theatre friends I so love.   I met Brenda in 2013 when her and my other friend Len took over as co-artistic directors of Miner’s Alley Playhouse (a small 120 seat theatre) in Golden, Colorado.

Anyone who has spent any amount of time around theatre people know that we are a little whacky, mostly outgoing, but above anything else some of the most loving, kind, and accepting people you have ever met in your lifetime. Brenda was no exception to this rule, in fact, she exuded this perhaps more than the average theatre person. When I was in college I went to a theatre conference (yes this is a real thing) a professor that was teaching a session I was attending said something that I will never forget; “Theatre is the only right religion.” Obviously he didn’t mean this in the literal sense and meant no disrespect to any other religions. To my knowledge there is not a church of theatre, but it stuck with me to this day. The reason, he explained, was the humanity we experience as theatre artists. We must delve into characters and stories and understand the humanity in them in order for us to understand them, love them, honor them, and in an actor’s case, be them. It translates into the community of people that produce and work on each show. By understanding the very things that make us human, we as people are less judgmental, more loving, more accepting beings. That’s my theory anyway. I have experienced this in every production I have ever been a part of. It is like an unwritten rule for the theatre. You must love people where they are. That is what Bravery is, and what my friend Brenda stood for. Being raw, brave, and authentic not only on stage, but off. It takes courage to live your life like that everyday. She loved you for it and she encouraged it. Brenda was the absolute definition love, acceptance, and joy.

This week I was honored that her family and Miner’s Alley asked me to photograph Brenda’s celebration of life. After feeling pretty helpless (that feeling we all have when you know people are in pain and we want to make it bettter) all week I was so happy to help even though these sort of things aren’t really what I do. As I watched, listened, photographed – I laughed and cried. I was humbled by the amount of love that this one person had and the reach she had. I was also humbled at the weight of what I do. I watched a slideshow of 57 years worth of memories, weddings, graduations, baby photos, childhood memories. Photos are the most treasured thing we have right now that this amazing person is gone from this earth. I was humbled in that moment in the responsibility I am given every day. Every time I click that shutter – each frame could be something so important. Sometimes I forget the weight that I carry on my shoulders but, the honor and trust that my clients give me is never lost on me. Photographing is never about me and that’s the best part. My work is a reflection of the love or sorrow or story in any given moment.  I have to remember that photographs aren’t for the dead though, they are for the living. They are living. They are the things that keep us feeling alive in the moment, that keep us remembering the joy we had or the child we had who is all grown up, the thing that happened that makes this crazy life worth living when we feel like giving up or when we are angry, it has the power to make us feel and remember. It is a powerful thing.

“Be Brave.” Brenda got me thinking of ways that I can be not only BRAVE but a better person. How can I love more, judge less, be more humble, accepting, raw, vulnerable? After all, the things that are scary, uncomfortable, vulnerable in this life are often the things worth doing. The raw stuff is what helps you connect to the people who matter. How can I live more like Brenda did? How can I not take for granted that tomorrow may never come? I am still trying to make sense of this loss just like everyone whose lives she touched. It was apropos that the last show she worked on at Miners Alley was “You Can’t Take it With You.” The message in the show centers around the idea of living here and now, not always working for more and more and more because in fact, you can’t take it with you. Embracing your family and friends no matter who they are . The things in life aren’t what matter, it’s the people you love. No one knew this more than Brenda. All I can do now is try to “Be Brave”er than I was the day before and help her spirit and message live on. The last time I saw her I said “Love you guys, see you soon.” Sometimes you don’t have soon. Better get to work loving people and being brave now. Love you Brenda, thank you for sharing your spirit with us. You will be missed.

XO,

Sarah

A quote that played during a slideshow in her service.

“Without bravery you will never know the world as richly as it longs to be known. Without bravery your life will remain small. Smaller than you probably wanted your life to be.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Here are a few of the images from last night. Not your average service. A Tony Award winning actress, choirs, and her daughters singing purple rain. A night that truly celebrated the love and person she was and the spirit that we will miss.